I used to be cool. I used to be up for spontaneous weekend trips away and staying out late with all of my best friends. We had a blast dancing the night away with not a worry in the world. And then I met my husband. We were still pretty awesome and care free. We did pub nights with friends and last minute trips around the Cabot Trail. And then we had a baby who is now a toddler and things changed. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t go back; but damn, I used to be so cool.
When you become a parent, the word “cool” drastically changes its meaning. It went from being able to take 5 shots and still waking up bright eyed and bushy tailed, to making hilarious midnight shadow puppets and turning food into kick ass animals.
The biggest change that happened when I became a parent was the fact that many of my friends got left behind. But I promise it won’t last forever. Right now my life is making sure a tiny human makes it through her day with little-to-no bruises, only mild temper tantrums in the grocery store, a full belly and a happy heart.
They tell me things get easier as babies grow into toddlers and despite what a lot of people think, they just might be right! Maybe I am one of the lucky ones but hell; diapers, formula and 2 a.m. feedings were time consuming! Now that my daughter is potty trained and eating whatever I eat, life is a little better, a little less stressful and I am getting my friends back. Now we can all do mini road trips together, eat out at restaurants and have play dates at the park where I can actually sit and enjoy a coffee with my friend while my daughter plays on her own. My daughter and I don’t have to spend every waking second together and although my love for her cannot get any stronger, this is a good thing.
We as parents dedicate every day of our child’s little lives to them because it’s what we have to do; it’s what we WANT to do. Thank you for understanding and thank you for not giving up on me. I will eventually have my freedom again one day and by then I’m sure we will take an exciting trip abroad and maybe even learn a neat new skill, but until then, I will live with the guilt of balancing a young child and a social life. Maybe in the meantime, when we get that rare moment of adult time together, we can make plans and chat about what our dream trip will be in a few years. That will help me a lot. It will help me in those moments where my toddler is mad at me because I cut her toast the wrong way, or when she decided she was done with a toy and threw it in the toilet.
The fact is that life, no matter what it throws at us, is challenging. Some pathways we choose and others we have no control over. The light at the end of the tunnel, though, is you; is our friendship. So thank you for being such a great friend. I’ll be a better friend in a few years.
“A special shout out to my BFF, my Billy, my Delta. Even though you have no children of your own, you stuck with me throughout everything and loved my daughter as if she were your own. The bond you both share is something that cannot be described but only seen while watching the two of you. It takes a strong and true friendship to put up with my antics, my melt downs and my constant bragging when Lux reaches her many milestones. I don’t want it all to go unrecognized. Thank you for being a great friend and knowing that I will be better someday! Thank you for being the inspiration for this post.” – Mal xx