Too many times moms are in a position where they feel guilt, judgement and failure. Sadly, most times these feelings are given to us by the ones who should be lifting us up instead of pushing us down; the fellow mom.
Sometimes when we become parents, step-parents or guardians, we feel the need to give advice to other moms. We think we know it all. We’ve been there and done that. “Hey! I remember when my baby wouldn’t sleep but I would NEVER let them nap in a car seat. They will DIE! Just sayin.” Or the ever popular “Oh wow. I noticed that you are letting your baby wear that teething necklace. You know that they are super dangerous and cause choking, right?” And then there’s the controversy over bumper pads, formula vs. nursing and the list goes on.
DO YOU THINK I’VE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK?! YES I have seen the comments and read the articles, but I know what is best for my baby and you know what’s best for yours. So unless I ask, kindly MYOB!
The problem with giving advice to moms, and especially NEW moms, is that your comments come off as judgements. We are already struggling with routines, sleep patterns, nutrition and just making it through the day. These comments can be hurtful and throw a huge wrench into an already messy day and they are not easily forgotten. The last thing we want to hear after forgetting to feed our baby on time is that we are going to KILL them by letting them wear a damn necklace that gives them even a moment of relief from that tooth ripping through their gums!!
Look, of COURSE a mom wants to be perfect. She wants to do everything right for her baby but the reality is this: We are all hot messes. We take life one day at a time and we all do the very best that we can. We are all equal and we all do what works best for us and our families.
So please, if you can take one thing from this post at all, let it be this: SHUT IT. Unless you are asked, be nothing but supportive to that mom who is struggling for exactly the same reason as you feel the need to give advice; because you’ve been there.
Okay, here it is: Be a unicorn mom. What is a unicorn mom, you ask? Well, I’ve only discovered the term recently myself and I admit it seems too good to be true but I am going to give it one hell of a shot.
UNICORN MOM. /Noun/.
A mother who’s not perfect, enjoys alcohol, has a sense of humor and doesn’t care less what you think.
See also: Beautiful, Boss, B!tch & zero F#&Ks given.
So whatdya say? Let’s all band together, lift each other up and become unicorn moms! Offer support and not ridicule. Ignore the noseys (I’m pretty sure I just made that term up). You are a complete rock star and are too busy raising the next Prime Minister, Einstein or Dali Lama to give a sh!t about what the woman who clearly needs to read this Blog is saying! You go mama! You GO on with your bad self! You got this!
“A huge thank you to the amazing mama who inspired me to write this Blog. You know who you are! Trust me, you’re doing everything exactly how it should be. You are an inspiration to all parents and I look up to and respect the hell out of you.”