Why Does Having One Child Have to be So Terrible?

I’ve heard it all.  The clear opinions of parents who have more than one child and their utter disgust when they discover that my husband and I have one child on purpose.   They say things like “what a sin, your daughter will never have anyone to play with!” or the ever popular “oh no, you’re gonna regret that decision when she gets older!”

SERIOUSLY?

Where do I even begin?  Well, I guess I will start here:  It’s none of your damn business

I know that sounds harsh, and maybe it is.  After all, you are only trying to be helpful.  And I get that, I really do.  I mean, you yourself have gone through the hardship of being an only child!  Or maybe you had only one child yourself and regret it every single day!  I am so sorry that you are struggling with that.  Nobody should go through life with any regret or disappointment to that level.  I’m sure it’s a horrible feeling.

On the other hand, maybe you have 6 beautiful children and they all play together so well and you couldn’t imagine life being any different!  And you know what, that is so great!  For you. But in my opinion, one does NOT have to be the loneliest number.

So let me address your statements that you have made out of assumption that these things definitely didn’t happen to me: (1) maybe I had a very traumatic delivery and no longer feel that I can go through it again, (2) maybe I went through several devastating miscarriages and finally got my miracle baby, or (3) maybe the doctors told me I can no longer have babies and every time you tell me I am being selfish it is tearing me apart more and more inside.  These are all things you should be cognoscente of before you offer your opinion on a family with one child.

Fortunately, I have been beyond blessed and have had no significant challenges with having my daughter.  UNfortunately, many people see that as an opportunity to parent-shame me for consciously only having one kid.  If I am okay with having one child, you should be more than okay with it.  It’s as simple as that.

So you think my daughter will have nobody to play with?  Tell that to her 8 first cousins who live minutes apart and who play with her almost daily.  No they are not her actual siblings, but she is sure learning how to interact, share, disagree and love just the same.

And I will regret my decision when she gets older?  Well, I am not in the future yet, I’ll give you that.  But I am confident that I will never regret the mommy/daughter days we will have or not having to choose which child can go with her father on the ATV because there is only room for one more.  I certainly won’t regret giving all of my love to my amazing daughter and supporting her through her life’s journey all the way.

I am not saying she won’t struggle.  I am not saying she won’t come to roadblocks in life.  But every child goes through those challenges in life.  And although she will be an only child, she will have so many people who will love her and help her through anything life throws at her.  That, I can guarantee.

This post isn’t about promoting single child families or shaming families with several children.  This post is about respecting boundaries and decisions.  We can’t all agree on the same things, but that’s what makes us all unique.

Thanks for the read!  I would love to hear your opinions! ❤

xx

 

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15 thoughts on “Why Does Having One Child Have to be So Terrible?

  1. Curlygirlabroad says:

    Good statement! I guess people opinions also come from their own family status. Maybe someone was a single child and didn’t like it, or maybe that single child can’t imagine having more than one. And the other way around I don’t think there is one better than the other.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Leona Sangster says:

    very well said Mallori. A lot of people myself included have never thought about some of the reasons why some couples only have one child, just goes to prove that we all should think before we say anything.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. NickyB. says:

    My sis has one child. She had a rough pregnancy and an even rougher delivery. She decided shortly thereafter that she would not be having anymore children. She is as happy as a clam and has never regretted her decision. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sarah says:

    Thanks so much for your post! I get these same exact comments all the time (except I have a boy) and it is so frustrating. Sometimes people need to mind their own womb!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Beverly julian says:

    I have 6 great kids ..all adults now and each one is my favorite (they don’t know that if course). So one child families are strange to me ..my kids would agree with you though …having one to spoil knowing from their experience how tough it was to share …everything including me …I came from a large family there were 8 of us and I couldn’t have made it through that without my sister …granted if I was the only child I wouldn’t have had all those annoying struggles that brothers and sisters bring… but life without my sister hmmmm I don’t know …. that I think is where all us large family people think that only children will miss…but without having it how will she miss it ?…
    you are blessed your daughter is a beauty through and through ..thanks for sharing

    Like

    • momanticsblog says:

      I completely understand your comment and also agree that large families are great! I never want to imagine life without my sister. I just wanted to talk about family shaming and judging parents who decide to only have one child. Some choose, and others don’t have the choice, unfortunately. Either way, we should never look down on others decisions when it comes to their family choices. Thanks for sharing, Bev!

      Like

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