I’ve heard it all. The clear opinions of parents who have more than one child and their utter disgust when they discover that my husband and I have one child on purpose. They say things like “what a sin, your daughter will never have anyone to play with!” or the ever popular “oh no, you’re gonna regret that decision when she gets older!”
Where do I even begin? Well, I guess I will start here: It’s none of your damn business.
I know that sounds harsh, and maybe it is. After all, you are only trying to be helpful. And I get that, I really do. I mean, you yourself have gone through the hardship of being an only child! Or maybe you had only one child yourself and regret it every single day! I am so sorry that you are struggling with that. Nobody should go through life with any regret or disappointment to that level. I’m sure it’s a horrible feeling.
On the other hand, maybe you have 6 beautiful children and they all play together so well and you couldn’t imagine life being any different! And you know what, that is so great! For you. But in my opinion, one does NOT have to be the loneliest number.
So let me address your statements that you have made out of assumption that these things definitely didn’t happen to me: (1) maybe I had a very traumatic delivery and no longer feel that I can go through it again, (2) maybe I went through several devastating miscarriages and finally got my miracle baby, or (3) maybe the doctors told me I can no longer have babies and every time you tell me I am being selfish it is tearing me apart more and more inside. These are all things you should be cognoscente of before you offer your opinion on a family with one child.
Fortunately, I have been beyond blessed and have had no significant challenges with having my daughter. UNfortunately, many people see that as an opportunity to parent-shame me for consciously only having one kid. If I am okay with having one child, you should be more than okay with it. It’s as simple as that.
So you think my daughter will have nobody to play with? Tell that to her 8 first cousins who live minutes apart and who play with her almost daily. No they are not her actual siblings, but she is sure learning how to interact, share, disagree and love just the same.
And I will regret my decision when she gets older? Well, I am not in the future yet, I’ll give you that. But I am confident that I will never regret the mommy/daughter days we will have or not having to choose which child can go with her father on the ATV because there is only room for one more. I certainly won’t regret giving all of my love to my amazing daughter and supporting her through her life’s journey all the way.
I am not saying she won’t struggle. I am not saying she won’t come to roadblocks in life. But every child goes through those challenges in life. And although she will be an only child, she will have so many people who will love her and help her through anything life throws at her. That, I can guarantee.
This post isn’t about promoting single child families or shaming families with several children. This post is about respecting boundaries and decisions. We can’t all agree on the same things, but that’s what makes us all unique.
Thanks for the read! I would love to hear your opinions! ❤