The BEST Advice you Will Ever Receive.

As any respectable parent knows, alone time when you have a toddler (or a child of any age for that matter) is a rarity. We all dream of the day when our child gets old enough to wipe their own bum, get up to pee by themselves in the middle of the night and feed themselves breakfast. Well, for now my reality is that I have a 2.5 year old daughter who depends on me for those things, and I am totally okay with it. Better than that, I actually enjoy that she needs her mommy for most things in life. However, there are those very special occasions when I have the entire house to myself. Today was one of those days. I had two glorious hours to spend my time however I chose.

Another thing that might be familiar to parents is that when we do get these precious moments to ourselves, we usually spend them doing things that aren’t very glamorous. Although they aren’t glamorous, we get so pumped about doing them because now that we have to “adult”, we actually have responsibilities. We have to clean, cook, pay bills and other boring crap that nobody really wants to do. When these things get done, it’s considered a small win. Bo-ring, I know.

So on this sunny Saturday, my daughter’s Auntie called and wanted to hang out with her for a couple hours. Immediately I said yes and began making a mental “to-do” list. What can I get done that I normally couldn’t if my daughter is home?

I planned to clean out the pantry, scrub the floors and fold the laundry. This is exactly what I told my husband before he went back to work when he asked me what I was going to do in the house alone.

So, my husband packed my daughter all up into the car with her sunscreen, her hat, water bottle and extra change of clothes and off they went.

They were no more than 10 seconds out the door when I grabbed the pan of leftover brownies, ran to the freezer and scooped some ice cream on top of the brownie and chocolate sauced the HELL out of that delectable duo. What? Did you think I was going to grab the rubber gloves and mop?image.jpeg?!

They literally did not make it out of the driveway when I had Netflix loading and my ass was plunked on the couch! This picture you see here? This is my sanctuary today. That’s right, I didn’t even take the time to put the brownie in a proper bowl.

I have one piece of advice, parents. When your kid goes out on a play date and leaves you with the house to yourself, you do the following:

  1. tell your spouse all of the hard work that you are going to get done,

  2. immediately turn on Netflix (make a mental note in advance of what movie you want to watch so no time is wasted), and

  3. grab the most decadent dessert in your house!

  4. About 20 minutes before they get home, you clean! You clean like the world’s hunger issues depend on it! (TIP: Don’t forget to clean the dish that you had your dessert in.)

Before you know it, the kid gets home all played out, hubby gets home and notices “all the hard work you did”, and you are satisfied in knowing that you have a full belly, a happy family and that you are one hell of a super woman.

YOU GO GIRL! You go! Go on with your bad self!


7 thoughts on “The BEST Advice you Will Ever Receive.

  1. Judy Silver says:

    Love reading your blog Mallori and #4 above makes me laugh and it brings back fond memories of someone we both knew and loved, my mother, Jean. In the summer when she was off from her teaching job and she’d caught up on all the chores left undone over the school term, we all liked to relax and enjoy having her at home so every day about 15 minutes before dad was due to arrive home from work she would quickly put us all to work and get the house tidy while she got dinner on the stove!! He came in thinking she’d spent all day awaiting his return!!

    Liked by 1 person

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